South by Southwest isn’t just a music festival. It’s a state of mind. If you’re headed to Austin this week, you have one supreme goal: to headbutt Fun as much as humanly possible. What separates the seasoned vets who are on a first name basis with Fun from the stringy-haired amateurs who “wing it” is preparation. After all, any American Spirit-smoking hipster can pack a pair of cutoffs and a handful of crop tops and call it a day. But there’s an art to festival squatting that requires a little bit of strategy and a whole lot of Tetris-level shenanigans. To make sure you’re at the top of your game, we’ve come up with a SXSW survival guide that’ll change your life. Well, at least your week. Godspeed, you maniacs. We’ll see you in the pit.
