Jean advertisements could not be further from reality. Take, for instance, the Calvin Klein Jeans Fall 2014 campaign. How many times have you tried on boyfriend jeans only to find yourself lounging in the arms of a shirtless Matt Terry? The reality is far more disappointing.
For most of us, looking for denim that fits and flatters feels more like searching for an elusive baby unicorn. If it hugs the hips, it doesn’t fit in the waist. It’s too long, it’s too short. It gaps at the top or sags at the bottom. And that’s if we’re even lucky enough to get them on and buttoned, which usually involves an intricate dance that looks like a cross between Zumba and Prancercise. Enough is enough. We’re taking the guesswork out of jean shopping and getting down to business with a breakdown of how to flatter your body type. Frankly, it was either this or therapy.
Click on the slideshow below to shop your shape and find the best jeans for you.
Jeans
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If You're Petite Like Janelle Monáe...
LOOK FOR: Jeans that lengthen your legs, but don't swallow them up in a sea of denim. Keep your eyes peeled for 27 to 29-inch inseams, and visit your tailor if necessary.
AVOID: Excessively baggy jeans, high-waisted designs and wide-leg cuts.
Image: WENN
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Paige
Verdugo Miles Jeans, $199 at Paige
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Current/Elliott
The Fling Boyfriend Jeans, $473 at mytheresa.com
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J.Crew
Petite Reid Jean in Black Wash, $80.50 at J.Crew
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LOFT
Relaxed Skinny Jeans in Supreme Blue Wash, $79.50 at LOFT
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If You're Pear-Shaped Like Beyoncé...
LOOK FOR: A mid-rise jean with a little stretch that will hug your hips without gaping at the top. Straight leg, boyfriend and bootcut jeans are great fits. If you want to wear a lower rise, just make sure it's cut higher in back, so you stay covered.
AVOID: High-waisted or skinny jeans, which will accentuate your hips.
Image: WENN
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J Brand
Blue Label Curvy Fit Scarlett Boot Leg Cut Jeans, $140 at A Shop for Women
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True Religion
Bobby Lonestar Jean in Westwood, $107.99 at 6pm.com
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JOE'S Jeans
Keely Bootcut in Medium Blue Denim, $169 at JOE'S Jeans
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If You're Tall Like Rihanna...
LOOK FOR: Jeans with an inseam of 32 inches or greater.
AVOID: Exaggerated wide-leg jeans, unless you want to look like you're walking on stilts.
Image: WENN
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BLK DNM
Jeans 22 in Sutter Blue, $190 at BLK DNM
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Hudson Jeans
Collin Skinny Supermodel Jeans, $187 at Hudson Jeans
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Rachel Comey
Joust Pant, $345 at Rachel Comey
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Victoria Beckham
Flare in Classic Dark Blue Denim, $355 at Victoria Beckham
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If You're Apple-Shaped Like Kate Upton...
LOOK FOR: Jeans that fall at mid-waist or just below the belly button to act as a girdle. For extra slimming, opt for a dark wash and rigid fabrics (only 2 percent Lycra or spandex) that will hold shape well. Straight leg and bootcut will balance out your proportions.
AVOID: Extra pockets, fabrics that are too stretchy and hyper-distressed washes that call attention to the areas you want to slim. Also steer clear of any silhouettes that are high-waisted or skinny, so you highlight your best assets and harmonize your proportions.
Image: WENN
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Calvin Klein Jeans
Curvy Straight Leg in Black, $45.99 at 6pm.com
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7 For All Mankind
Kate Jean in Holland, $191 at 7 For All Mankind
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Citizens of Humanity
Hutton Medium Rise Wide Leg in Tuxedo, $168 at Citizens of Humanity
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Rock & Republic
Sadie Straight-Leg Jeans, $49.99 at Kohl's
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If You're Curvy Like Model Olivia Campbell...
LOOK FOR: Darker washes and stretchy material that will move with you. If you want to minimize your hips, grab a pair of bootcut or flare jeans.
AVOID: Low rise, baggy jeans and pockets with flaps.
Image: Instagram
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ASOS Curve
Ridley Super Soft Skinny Jean in Black, $56.85 at ASOS
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NYDJ Plus
Marilyn Straight Leg in Blue/Black, $124 at NYDJ
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Forever 21
Distressed Boyfriend Jeans in Denim Washed, $29.90 at Forever 21
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Carmakoma
Elgon Skinny Jeans in Dark Grey, $135 at Carmakoma
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If You're Ruler-Shaped Like Kate Moss...
LOOK FOR: High-waisted jeans that will give you the illusion of curves; the same goes for embellishments and extra pockets. Skinny jeans, bootcut, flare and straight leg are best.
AVOID: Pocketless jeans and low-rise fits, which will only emphasize your straight lines.
Image: WENN
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Simon Miller
W004 Classic Lowland in Blue, $345 at Barneys
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Rag & Bone
Justine High Rise Legging Jeans, $187 at Shopbop
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Stella McCartney
Swallows Embroidered Stretch Denim Jeans, $565 at Luisa Via Roma
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Frame
Le High Flare in Sutherland, $210 at Intermix
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If You Have an Hourglass Shape Like Kim Kardashian...
LOOK FOR: Jeans cut higher in the back, so you can bend down and still remain a lady. Search for designs with a contoured waistband to avoid that dreaded gaping issue. Skinny, bootcut, straight leg and wide leg work well.
AVOID: Fabrics that don't give and low-rise.
Image: WENN
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Spanx
Ready-to-Wow! Denim Leggings, $98 at Spanx
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Levi's
Bold Curve Boot Cut Jeans in Richest Indigo, $62 at Levi's
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Next
Lift Slim and Shape Skinny Jeans, $82 at Next
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DL Premium Denim
Coco Jean The Curvy Straight in Flatiron, $178 at DL Premium Denim