There were very few details about Natalie Portman’s new baby, so let’s gossip about her relationship!
It’s possible that Kanye West spent his 34th birthday making out with Mary Kate Olsen
Some people have been saying some really interesting things about Mary Kate Olsen and Kanye West — namely, that they were caught making out at Kanye’s 34th birthday last Tuesday night. Who doesn’t love an odd couple? [HollywoodDame] Especially because Mary Kate is a short, asexual fashion gremlin and Kanye West is basically twice her size and totally crazy. And so it isn’t surprising that Olsen’s rep has issued a statement claiming that the story’s untrue. [AmyGrindhouse]
Lindsay Lohan’s life under house arrest is better than my life as a free person
Even though she stole a $5K necklace, Lindsay Lohan got to skip the whole “Go Directly to Jail” thing that tends to happen after one is found guilty of this type of crime, she’s definitely been suffering. Sentenced to house arrest for a whole thirty days, Lindsay’s been locked up in her Venice beach pad, looking out at the ocean, completely cut off from the outside world. Oh wait, except for the fact that she’s been hosting pool parties and lounging around in the sun, which is basically the equivalent of being water-boarded, so she really deserves all of our compassion and support as she pulls through this trying time. If I were locked in my house for thirty days, I’d probably develop an iron deficiency and a habit of talking to myself. Although I already do talk to myself. Kind of often. Like right now, even. I’m saying, “Please sentence me to house arrest in a great Venice apartment with access to a private pool and lots of money to order tons of useless stuff online.” [GirlsTalkingSmack]
Getting over James Franco
This isn’t a goodbye, because I now don’t have to ignore your existence away, James Franco — I’m welcoming you to a new stage in our relationship. We can be friends now. And I can look at your latest turn as fashion photographer without getting heart palpitations. You photographed Agyness Deyn as a rebel for Elle, and the photographs might be nice, but I know a secret about the pictures: you were really photographing yourself, James Franco; the rebel in the photos is the rebel of your fantasies, your dreams. Just like everything you’ve ever produced, the photo series was all about you — Agyness was just a stand-in, because self-portraits are tough to master. I’m kind of bored of you. And that’s why, even though I wish you the best, James Franco, I wish myself better. [Elle]
