Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have just announced their engagement on the cover of this week’s issue of People magazine. The couple has been dating for a whole six months, and the professional basketball player proposed to the celebutante a week ago on May 18, when Kim came into her bedroom to find the ball player on his knees with the words, “WILL YOU MARRY ME,” spelled out in rose petals. Humphries followed up that very tasteful proposal by presenting his fiance with a 20.5-carat Lorraine Schwartz diamond sparkler. Choosing the dream ring was a labor-intensive process for the Nets player, not wanting to fudge up the purchase of a lifetime. “I just knew I wanted it to be big,” he told People. Mission accomplished.
Apparently there hadn’t been a doubt in anyone’s mind that the bride-to-be would say yes, because Kim’s mom, Kris Jenners, pre-planned an “intimate family celebration” for the same evening. Humphries had warned Jenners that he didn’t want an over-the-top party (Kris and Kim are anything but gaudy), so as a “joke”, Kim’s mom presented the happy couple with two mini-horses covered with glitter. A representative for the Kardashian family denies that the bedazzled mini-horses were later used in a ritualistic sacrifice.
Even though Kim wants a big, blow-out wedding (an expected choice, coming from the serious-minded, modest young woman, but we all know that the reality star is anything but one-dimensional), she might not get to go all out: the tabloid queen told reporters that she hoped to get married this summer (yes, like, the summer that’s starting next Wednesday). Seems a little rushed to you? Surely it’s not: after six longs months of courtship, the professional athlete and the divorced sex tape star are eager to tie the knot and make things official. Some observers have speculated that the shotgun wedding and the peculiar placement of Kris and Kim’s hands on the People cover over Kim’s belly suggest that there’s a baby looming on the horizon, but I think it’s equally likely that the couple is addicted to attention. Or they could, you know, love each other.
One thing’s for sure: the Kim & Kris televised wedding will be a glorious train-wreck. Oh, and another thing: it’ll earn the newlyweds a lot of dough.
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