Leonardo DiCaprio trades Bar Rafaeli for Blake Lively
Just a few days ago, I was complaining that news of Bar Rafaeli and Leonardo DiCaprio’s breakup was missing a single, vital component: dirt. The boring announcement about the split yakked on and on about “growing apart,” “still being on good terms,” “mutual affection,” yadda yadda yadda. The whole thing was so dull that our fearless tabloids couldn’t even put together a blind item blaming the separation on a secret love child or drug addiction or something. Luckily, it seems that Leo was just as bored with the drama-free breakup as I was, and decided to give us something to gossip about. The actor was caught in mid-embrace with the ubiquitous Blake Lively on Steven Spielberg‘s yacht, in Cannes. No big deal, just another day in the South of France: frolicking around with uber-successes like Robert DeNiro while gazing longingly at the lithe figure and beaming smile of fashion’s latest darling, mere days after he broke up with his Israeli supermodel girlfriend. Celebrities: they’re just like us! [AmyGrindhouse, DailyStab]
Memo to Renee Zellweger: Why dating John Mayer might not be a good idea
They may both be womanizers, but John Mayer and Leonardo DiCaprio are drawn to very different kinds of women. While Leo goes for the bright and shiny dream girls of the world, like Gisele and Bar and Blake, Johnnyboy is into women that seem a little offbeat and a little fragile, like Jennifer Aniston and Taylor Swift and now, Renee Zellweger, and he’s been pretty good about breaking their hearts. The couple has been spotted all around LA and New York, and even though I’d trust John Mayer just about as far as I could throw him, Renee is reportedly just looking for “a good time with a hot guy.” Been there! And it’s a bad, bad idea: it starts out as just “I’m looking for a good time with a hot guy and this one’s sort of a jerk, but it’s fine because I know it and I can just enjoy myself and not get sucked into it and it’s really no big deal,” and then all of a sudden it’s all, “What’s wrong with him? How long could it possibly take to send a text?” and the next thing you know you can’t think or talk about anything else and you go crazy for his weird bread-y smell and that’s when you know you’re doomed because you’ve developed real feelings for someone you don’t actually like. (I’m not bitter.) Just avoid the hot-for-a-good-time guy and focus on the hot-for-a-good-time-for-awhile guy: those are the keepers, and John Mayer isn’t it. [CelebDirtyLaundry]
Let’s objectify Alexander Skarsgard
I don’t actually know too much about his personal life, but Alexander Skarsgard seems like a great idea. The True Blood actor might have every flaw under the sun, but his crinkly eyes and stubborn, dimpled chin definitely make heartbreak a risk worth taking. GQ decided to put the Nordic vampire actor on their June cover and just: Bravo! But, question: who’s the GQ audience again? Is a photo of Alexander Skarsgard stripping off his tie while staring intensely into the camera really the kind of thing that makes men buy magazines at the newsstand? I guess maybe, since according to the cover caption, he’s got something “that all the ladies want.” True: his bod. [RightCelebrity]
Lady Gaga is unstoppable, unfortunately
So, just in time for the launch of Lady Gaga‘s upcoming album, Born This Way, the popstar became the first person to amass ten million followers on Twitter. [Earsucker] You know what I really, really don’t understand? Who truly likes Lady Gaga? Maybe a few fifteen-year-old theater kids, but that doesn’t explain the absurd heights of her fame. [Editor’s note: My 3-year-olds LOVE Lady Gaga, so there’s your answer. But they’re not on Twitter yet.] And look: I don’t even like her but I can’t stop talking about her and every time I do she becomes a little more famous. I write about her every single day, more or less, and I’m not alone. She’s like this national itch we can’t scratch and she must be destroyed. Since she feeds on attention, the best way to get rid of her would just be to stop talking about her but…can’t…stop…must post…her latest single below. I give up. [HollywoodDame]
