In an interview promoting his upcoming film Arthur, Russell Brand rambles incoherently about kissing co-star Jennifer Garner. First he calls her “a fairy princess,” and says that her mouth tastes like “a brand of red velvet cake.” So far so good (though definitely weird), but Brand follows up the flattering remarks with a smackdown: “She smashes you in the mouth [in] those kissing scenes. If I was Ben Affleck, man I’d be pissed off.” I’ve spent some time trying to decipher these remarks, and have decided that he’s definitely insulting her, and it’s confusing because Brand isn’t just saying that Garner’s a bad kisser, he’s saying that she’s a disappointing kisser. He’s saying that her enchanting “red velvet” mouth doesn’t deliver on its own promises. If I were Jennifer Garner, man I’d be pissed off. [HaveUHeard]
Gotta say “yuck” to the new rumors speculating about Chelsea Clinton‘s divorce. Chelsea’s husband Marc Mezvinsky has quit his job and moved to Jackson Hole for six months, while Chelsea plans to remain in New York to complete her graduate degree. Though this is hardly a desirable situation for newlyweds, Chelsea and Marc married only six months ago–leave them alone! And if you need to fill the celebrity gossip void, get yourself a “James Franco” Google Alert. [RightCelebrity]
Ellen DeGeneres invited the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on her show and made them watch a video featuring the talk show host spoofing their made-for-TV catfights. Click through to see the hilarious video for yourself. [INeedMyFix]
A couple of days ago, demonstrators in Cairo attacked Anderson Cooper and punched him in the head. Egyptian protesters may be good at ousting a dictatorial regime, but they clearly have a poor grasp of the American media landscape: Anderson Cooper is probably the least punchable of all the cable news anchors and deserves only hugs and kisses. [DailyStab]
In related news: apparently making jokes about the Egyptian uprisal is a bigger faux-pas than wearing leggings and UGGs to a fashion show. Kenneth Cole‘s tweet, “millions are in uproar in #Cairo. Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online,” caused a major scandal. A fake @KennethColePR account and #KennethColeTweets hashtag meme joined media outlets to condemn the gaffe. The outrage drove Cole to post a public apology on Facebook, and we all know nothing says “I’m sorry” like a Facebook note. [MediaBistro]
Rihanna‘s S&M video has been banned in eleven countries. Coulda seen it coming. [HollywoodDame]
Some of Halle Berry‘s emails to her ex-husband Gabriel Aubry have leaked. The former couple is currently embroiled in a custody battle over their daughter. “You were only good for one thing,” Halle writes, “Thanks for the donation.” [BettyConfidential]
What’s Justin Beiber doing for Valentine’s Day? Hanging out with you, you lucky, lucky girl. [CelebDirtyLaundry]
Liked Black Swan? Hated it? Didn’t see it? Whatever, everyone can appreciate the CGI and special effects the filmmakers used to make Natalie Portman look so creepy. [DippedInCream]
