I had many years of feeling down and out on Valentine’s Day. Often my saving grace was that I was knee deep in covering New York Fashion Week, so I’d manage to push the sad thoughts away for most of the day and focus on work. Like New Year’s or birthdays, Valentine’s Day can make many people feel insecure about where they are in their life. “Most people who feel blue around Valentines do because they buy into the holiday as a real marker of something important to them AND they do not have a current romantic partner,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of medicine and host of the “How Can I Help?” podcast.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
There are several ways to change your perception about the holiday.
We chatted with Dr. Saltz about this very topic. Keep reading for her expert tips.
Love is love.
“Valentine’s Day is really a celebration of love and loving feelings. We can love numerous people in our life, not only romantically. Making a Valentine’s Day plan with someone you love, a friend, a family member or even a group of friends is a good way to increase the gratitude you feel for having love in your life, which can decrease the focus on feeling sad if you don’t have a romantic partner now.”
Don’t pay off Hallmark.
“You do not have to buy into this whole idea that there should even be a holiday for Valentine’s. It is actually a commercial holiday, not religious or family focused, with no need for observation. Keep it in perspective in this way and your sadness may feel misplaced.”
Image: Tim MacPherson for Getty
Sign up for a singles wanting to mingle event.
“You are not alone and a lot of other people would like to find a special someone, that’s why they host singles events on Valentine’s Day. You all will be on the lookout and perhaps more open to meeting someone that day vs. other days.”
Love yourself.
In order to find and really nurture a loving relationship, you need to love yourself well first. Find a great movie, make yourself treats for dinner, snuggle up in your favorite PJs and treat yourself to a holiday in celebration of loving you…you deserve it.”
