Marc Jacobs delivered a lesson in flawless shade after a New York Post writer trashed his company in a scathing profile on Sunday. The celebrated designer was the subject of not one, but two harsh articles at the newspaper, the first detailing an alleged orgy he hosted (with guests scouted through Grindr) and the second highlighting his financial troubles and supposed drug relapse.
Instead of erupting in anger, Marc penned an open letter to writer Maureen Callahan that easily sets the blueprint for all past and future clap backs. Allow Marc to show the world the four points every shade-filled Instagram response must address.
First, be sure to show pity to the poor, confused soul who had the audacity to “come for you.” Marc reveals that he feels sorry for Callahan in glorious nice/nasty fashion, saying, “Girl, I think I understand your pain” and “it must be such a sad, unfulfilling and lonely existence to get paid for ‘writing’ (I use the term loosely) an article put together from out of context information ‘written’ by other journalists over a period of time, for different periodicals, in different countries.” Ouch. He follows up with a jab at the entire paper, all while feigning pity for Callahan: “I can’t even imagine your suffering having made a life and name working for what has to be the worlds worst, trashiest, and most irresponsible of ‘newspapers’ (LOL)!”
Second, plead your case. Marc defends innocent artists like himself, saying, “I can imagine the powerful and fulfilling feeling you must feel with each piece you ‘write’ that helps yourself and your readers feel better about their lives by putting down others who are so fortunate as to have been blessed with a genuine passion for creation. Those creative individuals who like everyone else has feelings, a sexual appetite, ‘issues’, character defects, and professional ups and downs.”
Next, remind everyone that you’re being the bigger person. After spelling out exactly how Callahan wronged him, Marc still manages to take the high road by praying for the New York Post columnist: “Please know you are in my prayers. I hope you will someday find something, somewhere that gives you pleasure…and not at another’s expense.”
Finally, use every opportunity to make yourself look completely innocent. In the most brilliant gesture of all, MJ ends his diatribe by making himself look like the blameless angel he is. “Should that moment happen for you, please don’t thank me,” he says. “I only wish the best for everyone. Even you.”
Mic drop.
