theFashionSpot: Have you always been a writer?
Mark Manson: Not consciously. I never had aspirations to be a writer growing up. But I spent an inordinate amount of time on online forums and sites writing book-long posts and getting carried away with myself. So I suppose the desire was always there, I just never realized I could practically channel it.
tFS: What gave you the idea to start your website?
MM: My roommate after college urged me to. He had seen a number of my online diatribes and heard a bunch of my wilder stories. He had a blog and enjoyed it. So he encouraged me to start one. I eventually did. And here I am.
tFS: Favorite place you’ve traveled? Least favorite?
MM: Favorites, in some order: Brazil, Thailand, Colombia, Spain, Russia, Japan, Australia. Least favorites: India, Venezuela, Paris.
tFS: Getting attention in such a crowded space is nearly impossible. How did you build your following?
MM: Very gradually. I started out with a pretty small target audience. I was writing about my dating life in Boston. That slowly became popular with men in Boston. Then I slowly branched out to writing about men’s dating for men beyond Boston. Then, a few years later, I branched out and wrote about men’s self development in general. Then from there, I switched to simply writing about life in general. It was a seven-year process.
tFS: What’s been your most read article to date?
MM: This one, by far: 10 Life Lessons To Excel In Your 30s.
image: facebook.com/Markmansonnet
tFS: Any personal favorites you can highlight?
MM: It’s funny, my favorite articles are often not my most popular ones. They are just ones that were the most important to me or that I’m particularly proud of the writing. My favorites:
MM: Overestimating it and assuming it can fix your problems. Love is great, but it generally causes as many problems as it solves.
tFS: When it comes to managing stress, can you single out a common mistake?
MM: Blaming oneself for it. Most people feel stress, then immediately get mad at themselves for feeling stress, thinking, “If I was smart, I’d never feel this way.” Well, guess what? That just creates even more stress!
tFS: How do you personally start your day on a positive note?
MM: I’m definitely not what one would refer to as a “morning person.” I need my caffeine.
tFS: How do you cope when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
MM: I sometimes go on long walks just to clear my head. Talk to my girlfriend, she’s good at calming me down. Alcohol can help, as long as it’s a moderate amount (my “getting sloshed” days are long behind me).
tFS: Any articles you’re working on now that you can tell us about?
MM: Most articles are written only a couple days before being posted. So I couldn’t even tell you what’s coming next. I am writing a new book though! It’s about the importance of our negative experiences and why we shouldn’t try to avoid them so much.
tFS: Any feedback that has been particularly meaningful?
MM: A couple years ago, a guy told me, “Before you post an article, try removing the first and last paragraph and see if it makes it better.” I’ve found that’s often been true.
tFS: Best advice you’ve ever received?
MM: My dad, who is a successful business owner and an extremely smart man, has given me a few nuggets that stay with me. One of them was that a lot of people learn to get good at finding golden eggs, but few people learn how to be the golden goose who lays the golden eggs.
tFS: If there’s one thing you hope people take away from your articles, what would it be?
MM: Pretty much everything we think and know about ourselves or the world is likely wrong and that that’s actually a pretty liberating and healthy thing to accept. That and poop jokes.
